1 00:00:10,931 --> 00:00:14,136 Rip Digman, the man once known 2 00:00:14,137 --> 00:00:16,517 as the greatest archaeologist in the world. 3 00:00:16,655 --> 00:00:18,551 They say no one knows more about the past, 4 00:00:18,655 --> 00:00:20,206 but has it ever occurred to you 5 00:00:20,344 --> 00:00:22,206 that instead of digging up history, 6 00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:24,136 you may soon become it? 7 00:00:24,137 --> 00:00:26,102 Oh, I know I'll perish someday, 8 00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:29,965 but let's just say that tonight, death isn't in the cards. 9 00:00:30,068 --> 00:00:31,827 All right, let me just pop on my readers 10 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,034 and see what I got here. 11 00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:37,034 I wish you had just learned how to play poker, Rip, 12 00:00:37,172 --> 00:00:38,862 so we didn't have to come up with this scheme. 13 00:00:38,965 --> 00:00:40,551 Just tell him what to do, Agatha! 14 00:00:40,655 --> 00:00:43,206 Sorry for yelling, but I'm more nervous than Andy Sachs 15 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,931 on her first day at Runway magazine. 16 00:00:53,862 --> 00:00:54,827 Rip, 17 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:55,930 you have the better hand. 18 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,310 - I'm all in. - A bold move. 19 00:00:58,413 --> 00:01:03,068 The only way I can call is by betting this, Satan's Compass. 20 00:01:03,206 --> 00:01:05,068 Legend has it that it can 21 00:01:05,206 --> 00:01:07,172 - guide you to the Antichrist. - Huh. You don't say. 22 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,344 That's so wild. I had, like, zero clue 23 00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:10,793 it was in your possession. 24 00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,931 But I guess the bauble would cover your bet, 25 00:01:13,034 --> 00:01:14,896 so I will allow it. 26 00:01:16,896 --> 00:01:20,516 Do you know why they call me The Scar, Mr. Digman? 27 00:01:20,517 --> 00:01:22,137 Because of the scar on your face? 28 00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:24,241 No, because my favorite character 29 00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:26,068 in The Lion King is Scar. 30 00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:28,723 - But he's pure evil! - Precisely. 31 00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:31,000 And just as he showed Mufasa no mercy, 32 00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:33,654 I shall show none to you as well. 33 00:01:33,655 --> 00:01:35,827 A straight. A flush? 34 00:01:35,931 --> 00:01:38,551 Um, okay, you sound like a toilet right now. 35 00:01:38,655 --> 00:01:40,896 Well, I win. It was fun. Bye. 36 00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,137 What's this? You cheated! 37 00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:46,205 What? I've never seen this fast loris before in my life. 38 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,413 Oh, now you wear your birthday present? 39 00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:49,861 Fleety, you piece of shit! 40 00:01:49,862 --> 00:01:51,689 - Get them! - Hyah! Deck of cards! 41 00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:55,931 Nice of you to drop in. Did you get the Compass? 42 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,172 Does the pope shit in my mouth? 43 00:01:58,275 --> 00:02:00,034 Ew. Rip, does he? 44 00:02:00,137 --> 00:02:02,344 Uh... no. 45 00:02:02,448 --> 00:02:04,793 You know what? Just drive! 46 00:02:10,241 --> 00:02:12,482 Saltine, you're headed towards a red light! 47 00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:14,172 Not with my newest cool invention: 48 00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:16,310 glasses that make the color red look green. 49 00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:17,482 - Put 'em on. - Okay, uh... 50 00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:19,586 Whoa! It's green! Go! 51 00:02:19,689 --> 00:02:22,034 I got to borrow these next time I watch that awful movie, 52 00:02:22,137 --> 00:02:24,241 Red Shrek. 53 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,240 It's okay! My glasses made your sign look green! 54 00:02:29,241 --> 00:02:30,862 I accept that explanation. 55 00:02:30,965 --> 00:02:33,310 The harbor's straight ahead! We're almost at Swooper's plane! 56 00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:36,550 Damn it, he grabbed the Compass. 57 00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:38,000 After him! 58 00:02:38,137 --> 00:02:39,619 Throw you? 59 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,344 But that's too dangerous. 60 00:02:41,482 --> 00:02:43,793 All right, fine, you courageous little psycho. 61 00:02:47,241 --> 00:02:48,275 Fleety! 62 00:02:48,379 --> 00:02:49,723 Hyah, whip and yank. 63 00:02:49,724 --> 00:02:51,620 Gotcha. 64 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,620 Now to head back to the harbor. 65 00:02:55,724 --> 00:02:57,757 It might be a little late for that. 66 00:02:57,758 --> 00:02:59,757 But that's the only way to Swooper. 67 00:02:59,758 --> 00:03:01,241 No, it's not. Turn left. 68 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,724 Swooper, take off! 69 00:03:04,827 --> 00:03:06,206 But, Rip, you're not on board. 70 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:08,793 I said take off! 71 00:03:14,413 --> 00:03:16,862 Okay, Saltitties, you know what to do. 72 00:03:16,965 --> 00:03:18,136 Rip, we talked about this. 73 00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:19,896 You absolutely cannot call me that. 74 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,206 But I said you can call me Riptitties to make it fair. 75 00:03:22,344 --> 00:03:24,137 I don't have any interest in calling you that. 76 00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:25,309 Fine, you fucking prude. 77 00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:26,896 I'm sorry. Don't report me to HR. 78 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,551 Don't fucking sue me. I really mean it, I'm sorry. 79 00:03:28,655 --> 00:03:29,964 I was just trying to be funny. 80 00:03:29,965 --> 00:03:32,343 I'm a fucking dinosaur, Saltine! 81 00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:36,136 You got to understand how hard it is to unlearn this shit. 82 00:03:36,137 --> 00:03:38,172 Oh, my God, shut up! 83 00:03:38,275 --> 00:03:40,413 And hold on to your Riptitties. 84 00:03:47,758 --> 00:03:51,517 Looks like we are back on our bullshit. 85 00:03:51,655 --> 00:03:53,103 Hyah! 86 00:03:59,241 --> 00:04:01,689 It's been three weeks since the Antichrist and Uncle Christ 87 00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:03,448 possessed the bodies of Bella Torres 88 00:04:03,551 --> 00:04:04,862 and Quail Eegan's father. 89 00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:06,931 And in that time, their assaults on humanity 90 00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:08,793 have only grown more horrifying. 91 00:04:08,896 --> 00:04:10,310 - Feel the zap. - Please, no. 92 00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:12,758 I haven't had my java yet. 93 00:04:12,862 --> 00:04:14,103 In fact, their global body count 94 00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:15,931 has reached a history-making high. 95 00:04:16,068 --> 00:04:18,310 The Guinness World Record for most people slain 96 00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:21,448 by a demonic duo goes to the Uncle and Antichrist. 97 00:04:21,551 --> 00:04:23,310 It sickens me that I have to sing them 98 00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:25,448 the official Guinness congratulations song. 99 00:04:25,551 --> 00:04:27,275 ♪ You rock the house ♪ Ugh. 100 00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:29,103 ♪ You're better than all the...♪ - 101 00:04:29,206 --> 00:04:31,655 But just when it seemed all hope was lost, 102 00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:33,413 some was found when their weakness 103 00:04:33,517 --> 00:04:35,620 was discovered. 104 00:04:35,724 --> 00:04:37,895 Ow, it burns! 105 00:04:37,896 --> 00:04:41,586 Why am I not surprised this is happening on a Monday? 106 00:04:41,689 --> 00:04:43,758 Yes, it seems holy water renders them 107 00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:45,724 temporarily powerless. 108 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,861 All right, let's get to work. 109 00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:48,448 As you know, I want nothing more 110 00:04:48,551 --> 00:04:50,068 than to slay my demon wife Bella, 111 00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:52,137 but we can't kill her until we find her. 112 00:04:52,241 --> 00:04:54,137 Saltine, any luck figuring out how Satan's Compass works? 113 00:04:54,275 --> 00:04:56,758 Not yet. Its powers are ancient and mysterious. 114 00:04:56,862 --> 00:04:59,861 - We must proceed cautiously. - Here, let me just shake it. 115 00:04:59,862 --> 00:05:01,481 Careful, Rip. We don't know how it works. 116 00:05:01,482 --> 00:05:03,447 Guys. Stop fighting, you two. 117 00:05:03,448 --> 00:05:05,068 Whoa! 118 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,792 - Quit moving it. - I'm not. 119 00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:08,585 It's moving on its own. Wait a minute. 120 00:05:08,586 --> 00:05:10,172 It's a planchette! 121 00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,517 I can't believe this whole time it was a planchette, 122 00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:14,482 which is the name for the pointer you use 123 00:05:14,586 --> 00:05:16,136 with a Ouija board. 124 00:05:16,137 --> 00:05:19,103 - We know what a planchette is. - I know. I'm telling Fleety. 125 00:05:20,965 --> 00:05:23,724 What the hell is going on in here? 126 00:05:23,862 --> 00:05:26,654 Good Lord, is that some sort of planchette? 127 00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:29,172 Agatha, quick, unfurl a map of the world! 128 00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,034 - The Earth world? - Yes! 129 00:05:31,137 --> 00:05:32,655 Unfurling. 130 00:05:34,413 --> 00:05:36,827 Look. That must be where the Antichrist and Uncle Christ 131 00:05:36,965 --> 00:05:38,344 - are hiding. - Hey, Saltine. 132 00:05:38,448 --> 00:05:40,310 Remember when you were mad at me for grabbing it, 133 00:05:40,413 --> 00:05:41,724 but then that's what solved it? 134 00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:43,310 Do you remember? 135 00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:46,000 Saltine? Saltine? 136 00:05:46,103 --> 00:05:47,482 'Member? 137 00:05:47,586 --> 00:05:49,241 You remember? 138 00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:52,241 You remember, Saltine? 139 00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,551 Hey, what is it, mate? 140 00:05:56,655 --> 00:05:58,447 I thought you'd be excited for your first day 141 00:05:58,448 --> 00:05:59,758 at your new secret society. 142 00:05:59,862 --> 00:06:01,620 I thought it seemed cool at first, 143 00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:04,206 but I'm always getting invited to fancy clubs like this. 144 00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:06,620 They're filled with people who only want my money. 145 00:06:06,724 --> 00:06:08,586 I haven't a friend in the world. 146 00:06:08,724 --> 00:06:10,586 That's not true. I'm your friend. 147 00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:12,586 - I pay you a lot of money. - True, yeah. 148 00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:14,275 But what about Buddy-Bot? He's your friend. 149 00:06:14,379 --> 00:06:16,068 I would even say that we are besties. 150 00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:18,103 I programmed him to be my friend. 151 00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:19,310 That doesn't count. 152 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,931 So I don't have free will. 153 00:06:21,068 --> 00:06:22,310 That's world-shattering. 154 00:06:22,413 --> 00:06:24,826 I used to think woe is other people, 155 00:06:24,827 --> 00:06:28,448 but no, woe is me. 156 00:06:29,517 --> 00:06:32,586 God, a sad rich person is really fucking annoying. 157 00:06:32,689 --> 00:06:33,689 Agreed. 158 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:35,103 Quail Eegan. 159 00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:36,655 Welcome to the Council. 160 00:06:36,758 --> 00:06:38,068 Hi, Billy Themet, head of The Met. 161 00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:39,206 Let's just cut to the chase. 162 00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:40,862 - How much do you want? - Want? 163 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,516 Oh, Quail, you misunderstand. 164 00:06:42,517 --> 00:06:44,448 The Council is an assemblage 165 00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:46,448 of elite museum owners like yourself. 166 00:06:46,551 --> 00:06:48,655 Everyone here is already a billionaire. 167 00:06:48,758 --> 00:06:50,448 So you don't want anything from me? 168 00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:53,241 No, no, no, you're here because you're one of us. 169 00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:55,550 Let me show you around. 170 00:06:55,551 --> 00:06:58,068 ♪ Here is our golf course and pickleball court ♪ 171 00:06:58,172 --> 00:07:01,103 ♪ And right over there's where we hunt man for sport ♪ 172 00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:03,034 Good luck finding me. 173 00:07:03,137 --> 00:07:05,481 ♪ We know that life can be stressful at times ♪ 174 00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:08,172 ♪ So we've got a fixer to cover your crimes ♪ 175 00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:10,172 What did you rascals get up to this week? 176 00:07:10,275 --> 00:07:11,655 - Blackmail. - Murder. 177 00:07:11,758 --> 00:07:13,793 - Treason. - I'm on it. 178 00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:16,000 ♪ And here's something that I'd like to relay ♪ 179 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,379 ♪ The Watingos play for us every day ♪ 180 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,034 The Watingos? I've never heard of them. 181 00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:22,689 They're the greatest band in the world, 182 00:07:22,793 --> 00:07:24,862 and we've never allowed normal people to hear them. 183 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:30,172 ♪ Oh, baby, baby, I love that purple dress.♪ 184 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:31,896 Thank you very much. 185 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,482 Wow. They're fucking amazing. 186 00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:36,999 ♪ And lastly some news that's sure to delight ♪ 187 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:41,757 ♪ We have a huge Eyes Wide Shut style masked orgy ♪ 188 00:07:41,758 --> 00:07:45,344 ♪ Every night! ♪ 189 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,931 Wow, they even have well-positioned mannequins 190 00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:50,517 to avoid an NC-17 rating. 191 00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:51,965 Well, feel free to join in. 192 00:07:52,068 --> 00:07:54,930 After all, you're one of us now, friend. 193 00:07:54,931 --> 00:07:56,136 Friend? 194 00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:58,517 I mean, thanks, friend. 195 00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,448 You sure you can do this, Rip? 196 00:08:00,551 --> 00:08:01,896 Because if it's too much for you, 197 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,378 I'll gladly slice Bella's head off. 198 00:08:03,379 --> 00:08:05,481 Uh, and claim all the glory for yourself? 199 00:08:05,482 --> 00:08:06,724 Nice try. 200 00:08:06,827 --> 00:08:08,654 Trust me, I know she's the Antichrist now 201 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,068 and there's no Bella left. 202 00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:12,310 I will not hesitate to decapitate. 203 00:08:12,413 --> 00:08:14,689 Towards doing what's right shall I gravitate. 204 00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,310 Do not dubitate, Saltine. 205 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,654 For even if 'twould agitate 206 00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:19,275 and make mine heart palpitate, 207 00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:20,896 and though the demon may jactitate 208 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,586 and vagitate-- that's a real word-- 209 00:08:22,724 --> 00:08:25,586 she cannot imitate, she with whom I used to cohabitate. 210 00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:28,241 And whence slain, the ghoul's corpse shall crepitate, 211 00:08:28,344 --> 00:08:30,827 and the celebratory ale we drink shall be nippitate-- 212 00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:33,068 also a real word-- and that's no crap-itate-- 213 00:08:33,172 --> 00:08:35,827 not a real word but should be, and I submitted it to Webster's. 214 00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:37,068 Stay tuned on that one. 215 00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:38,551 Look. There. 216 00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:45,620 Okay, Swooper, hit 'em with the holy water. 217 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,724 - Now, Rip! Finish them off! - Gladly. 218 00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:51,931 Time to send you back to hell. 219 00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:56,137 All right, you got me. I can't do it. 220 00:08:56,241 --> 00:08:58,413 - Mwah. - Oh, no. 221 00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:03,482 What are you thinking, Rip? 222 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,517 You're keeping the Uncle Christ and Antichrist alive? 223 00:09:05,655 --> 00:09:06,965 Do you know how risky that is? 224 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,206 Au contraire. As long as they're hooked up 225 00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:11,793 to these holy water IVs, they're completely powerless. 226 00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:13,758 Which means it's the perfect time 227 00:09:13,862 --> 00:09:15,240 for us to chop their heads off. 228 00:09:15,241 --> 00:09:16,862 I vote against that. 229 00:09:16,965 --> 00:09:18,586 Not sure if I get a vote, but that's my vote if I do. 230 00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:20,310 Oh, shut up. 231 00:09:20,413 --> 00:09:23,102 Your logic is flawless, Saltine, but I can't just kill her. 232 00:09:23,103 --> 00:09:24,930 I know Bella's alive in there somewhere. 233 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,723 Isn't that right, my pudding cup? 234 00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:29,689 All right, well, admittedly, that's not great, 235 00:09:29,793 --> 00:09:31,689 but I've been doing some research. 236 00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,034 To the microfiche! 237 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,137 According to a contested translation 238 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,517 of the Rituale Romanum, 239 00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:38,206 you can only exorcise an Antichrist 240 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,103 by bringing them to the site 241 00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:42,344 of their human host's happiest memory. 242 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,758 Thusly, if I just take Bella to where she had 243 00:09:44,862 --> 00:09:47,310 her happiest memory, the Antichrist will disappear. 244 00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:49,172 And what if something goes wrong and they escape? 245 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,517 I'm on Saltine's side. 246 00:09:50,655 --> 00:09:52,275 We should slice their heads off. 247 00:09:52,379 --> 00:09:53,482 I'm on it. 248 00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:54,827 No, no, wait! 249 00:09:54,931 --> 00:09:56,447 Just give me a chance to track down 250 00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:57,517 Bella's happiest memory. 251 00:09:57,620 --> 00:09:58,827 If she's still possessed in, say, 252 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,517 a year, you can cut her head off. 253 00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:02,482 Fine, but you only get one week. 254 00:10:02,586 --> 00:10:04,862 Wha... A mere pauper's fortnight? 255 00:10:04,965 --> 00:10:06,895 That's nary a score of days. 256 00:10:06,896 --> 00:10:09,137 - Going once... - Sold. Goddamn it! 257 00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:12,103 Remember this place, my sweet? 258 00:10:12,206 --> 00:10:13,793 It's where we first met. 259 00:10:13,896 --> 00:10:15,137 Ow! 260 00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:16,793 My many apologies. 261 00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:18,793 Why don't you watch where you're throwing that thing, you... 262 00:10:18,896 --> 00:10:20,931 fucking asshole 263 00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:23,447 piece of shit fuck face. 264 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:26,067 Isn't that your happiest memory, Bella? 265 00:10:26,068 --> 00:10:28,550 Meeting me here? 266 00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:30,137 Okay, guess that wasn't it. 267 00:10:30,241 --> 00:10:32,241 Then how about... 268 00:10:32,344 --> 00:10:34,482 The site of our greatest honor. 269 00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:36,586 Rip and Bella, for discovering 270 00:10:36,689 --> 00:10:39,964 the horrific and sickening truth about Johnny Appleseed, 271 00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:42,482 I present you with this key to the White House. 272 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,068 I've never been happier. 273 00:10:44,172 --> 00:10:45,689 At least as of the time that this is taking place. 274 00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:47,379 It's possible that between now and my death 275 00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:49,172 I will have a happier moment. 276 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:51,240 Uh, honey, it will never matter what your happiest memory is. 277 00:10:51,241 --> 00:10:52,619 Stop telling me when it happens. 278 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:55,172 Oh, why the hell did I say that to her? 279 00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:57,517 All right, where to next? Oh, I've got it! 280 00:10:57,620 --> 00:11:00,103 The arena where Bella hit a half-court shot 281 00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:03,206 during halftime to win a Toyota Tundra. 282 00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:05,689 Hey, it's our old pal Blueberry. 283 00:11:07,137 --> 00:11:08,274 Remember that, dear? 284 00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:09,551 Holy crap! 285 00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:10,862 That was like a full hairy spider 286 00:11:10,965 --> 00:11:12,136 that came out of her mouth! 287 00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:13,724 Never thought I would miss the barf, 288 00:11:13,862 --> 00:11:15,068 but here we are. 289 00:11:15,172 --> 00:11:17,034 No matter. We still have six days. 290 00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:21,758 I'll travel to the ends of the Earth, if need be! 291 00:11:21,862 --> 00:11:23,068 ♪ Come on now. ♪ 292 00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:24,655 Not now, Blueberry. 293 00:11:24,758 --> 00:11:26,724 Ooh. Ow. 294 00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:28,000 All right, all right, 295 00:11:28,103 --> 00:11:29,343 all right, all right, everyone. 296 00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:31,551 I call this meeting of the Council to order. 297 00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:34,758 First, I want to welcome Quail, our newest member. 298 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,551 Thank you. When I was first invited to join the Council, 299 00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:39,206 I was skeptical. 300 00:11:39,344 --> 00:11:41,827 But I'm having the time of my life. 301 00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,689 Well, you should know, the Council is more 302 00:11:43,793 --> 00:11:45,206 than just a fun hang. 303 00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:47,792 We are the heads of the world's greatest museums. 304 00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:49,964 The Louvre. The Egyptian Museum. 305 00:11:49,965 --> 00:11:51,827 The American History Museum. 306 00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:53,862 The U2 Museum in Dublin. 307 00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,448 Wow. Do you have one of The Edge's guitars? 308 00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:57,171 No, we don't, that's a good idea. 309 00:11:57,172 --> 00:11:58,482 I'm gonna write that down. 310 00:11:58,586 --> 00:11:59,862 And we're always looking for ways 311 00:11:59,965 --> 00:12:01,620 to increase our bottom lines. 312 00:12:01,724 --> 00:12:02,931 So we've made a deal with the pope. 313 00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:05,585 He wants to exorcise the Antichrist 314 00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:08,793 and the Uncle Christ in a live television special. 315 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,482 Wow. So I could get my dad back? 316 00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:13,034 Yes, but only if we can deliver the Antichrist 317 00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:14,344 and the Uncle Christ to the pope. 318 00:12:14,448 --> 00:12:15,895 In exchange, he has promised to send 319 00:12:15,896 --> 00:12:17,723 the Sistine Chapel ceiling on a worldwide tour 320 00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:19,758 - of our museums. - Ooh, très bon. 321 00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:21,103 The Sistine Chapel ceiling? 322 00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:22,862 That's the biggest attraction on Earth. 323 00:12:22,965 --> 00:12:26,067 But the issue is that we're merely humble billionaires. 324 00:12:26,068 --> 00:12:27,551 We have no idea how to track down 325 00:12:27,655 --> 00:12:29,068 these demonic fugitives. 326 00:12:29,172 --> 00:12:31,723 Guys, my whole thing is invading people's privacy! 327 00:12:31,724 --> 00:12:33,931 I'll find them before our next orgy. 328 00:12:34,034 --> 00:12:36,310 Rocket boots, activate. 329 00:12:36,448 --> 00:12:37,965 Ow, my fucking head. 330 00:12:38,068 --> 00:12:40,793 Cornelia, huh? I think I'll swipe right. 331 00:12:40,896 --> 00:12:42,482 How'd it go? 332 00:12:42,586 --> 00:12:44,620 We went everywhere I could think of and nothing worked. 333 00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:46,827 I guess the translation was just wrong. 334 00:12:46,931 --> 00:12:48,931 It's not possible to exorcise the Antichrist. 335 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:50,412 Maybe. 336 00:12:50,413 --> 00:12:53,724 Or maybe Bella's happiest memory wasn't some major event. 337 00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:57,034 It was just some random little moment you could never guess, 338 00:12:57,137 --> 00:12:59,137 where she was with the people she loved, 339 00:12:59,275 --> 00:13:00,931 doing what she loved, 340 00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:03,862 and all was right with the world. 341 00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:07,655 That is so cheesy, Swooper. 342 00:13:07,793 --> 00:13:09,862 Get your brain waxed, butt-cheese. 343 00:13:11,103 --> 00:13:13,724 Well, I thought it was nice. 344 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,172 Well, that's it. 345 00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:17,034 It has been a pauper's fortnight. 346 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,654 I'll do the deed myself. 347 00:13:18,655 --> 00:13:21,309 As the saying goes, a man should kill his own wife. 348 00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:23,309 You are a wonderful person. 349 00:13:23,310 --> 00:13:26,000 I'm gonna just take a sec to say goodbye in private. 350 00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:28,000 I'll be right here if you need anything. 351 00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:30,344 Thanks, Saltine. That means a lot. 352 00:13:33,275 --> 00:13:35,344 Okay, chopping her head off now. 353 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,931 Marie Antoinette much? 354 00:13:37,034 --> 00:13:38,241 Whoops! 355 00:13:38,344 --> 00:13:40,931 It flew across the room and landed in my toilet. 356 00:13:41,034 --> 00:13:42,620 Party foul! 357 00:13:42,724 --> 00:13:44,757 - Man, I really wish I'd put down some tarp first. 358 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,000 There's blood and offal everywhere. 359 00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:49,689 But I'm going through with it, no doubt about that. 360 00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:52,551 Okay, time to move on to the Uncle Christ. 361 00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:55,379 Yowie, that must have been the femoral artery. 362 00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:56,862 I look like Carrie right now. 363 00:13:56,965 --> 00:13:59,206 And there goes his head. 364 00:13:59,344 --> 00:14:01,068 Right into Fleety's litter box. 365 00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:03,689 Yow! I slipped in the blood and sprained my coccyx. 366 00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:07,103 Quail, what are you doing here? 367 00:14:07,241 --> 00:14:09,586 I'm here for the Uncle and Antichrist. Step aside. 368 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,448 You're too late, sweetie. 369 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,137 Rip's already chopped their heads off. 370 00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:14,586 And then he slipped in their blood 371 00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:17,620 - and sprained his coccyx. - Papa! 372 00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:21,758 Rip? You were tricking us? 373 00:14:21,896 --> 00:14:23,205 What-what the hell is Quail doing here? 374 00:14:23,206 --> 00:14:25,103 I'm taking the Anti- and Uncle Christ. 375 00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:26,517 How did you even know we have them? 376 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,688 One of your "friends" sold you out. 377 00:14:28,689 --> 00:14:30,724 Blueberry! How could you? 378 00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:32,171 - Gentlemen. - No! 379 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,068 I won't let you have my Bella! 380 00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,413 I wasn't expecting you to let me. 381 00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:37,758 I'm just gonna do it. 382 00:14:37,862 --> 00:14:39,448 I belong to no man. 383 00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:40,965 Now die! 384 00:14:42,586 --> 00:14:45,241 Okay, powers aren't totally back yet. 385 00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,758 Shoot her! 386 00:14:46,896 --> 00:14:50,344 Bella, no! 387 00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:53,448 Well, this place is trashed. 388 00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,724 I knew I should've gotten headquarters insurance. 389 00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:57,068 But the premium is so high. 390 00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:58,620 You know what I mean, Quail? 391 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,447 Okay, obviously this is a bit of a setback, 392 00:15:03,448 --> 00:15:04,793 but we can still track down the Antichrist 393 00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:06,931 - using the planchette. - Bad news. 394 00:15:07,034 --> 00:15:08,448 It's as busted as a nut. 395 00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:10,517 Oh, that's a bummer, but I do love how you said it. 396 00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:13,310 Okay, I guess we'll just have to find her another way. 397 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,275 And then... heads will roll. 398 00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:19,310 Rip, you're clearly not capable of killing the Antichrist. 399 00:15:19,413 --> 00:15:21,827 When we find her, just leave the beheading part to me. 400 00:15:21,931 --> 00:15:24,585 I'll make sure her head... is dead. 401 00:15:24,586 --> 00:15:26,586 - Yeah, Saltine! - You're so awesome. 402 00:15:26,689 --> 00:15:29,965 Oh, dip. Looks like the pope found another option. 403 00:15:30,068 --> 00:15:31,862 Live from Vatican Square Garden, 404 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,964 it's the Uncle Christ Exorcism Special. 405 00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:37,586 Man, I can't believe my dad's gonna be back soon. 406 00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:39,206 I hope he's just as withholding as ever. 407 00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:41,655 Featuring six hours of Latin hymns 408 00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:44,895 and a performance by the Vatican City Dancers. 409 00:15:44,896 --> 00:15:46,585 Ah, man. No jazz? 410 00:15:46,586 --> 00:15:49,344 Along with three hours of avant-garde jazz. 411 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,827 Spoke too soon. 412 00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:52,448 Now please welcome your host, 413 00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:54,000 His Holiness the Pope. 414 00:15:54,137 --> 00:15:55,482 This just in. 415 00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:57,965 The president has been kidnapped by the Antichrist. 416 00:15:58,068 --> 00:15:59,240 Sources say that, as a result, 417 00:15:59,241 --> 00:16:02,172 the president's daughter is sad. 418 00:16:02,275 --> 00:16:03,862 Here's footage of the abduction. 419 00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:09,482 Yes, it looks like Rip Digman is at fault for all of this. 420 00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:10,620 Damn it! 421 00:16:10,724 --> 00:16:13,136 That's my b-b-b-bad. 422 00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:15,343 Like that song "Bad to the Bone"? 423 00:16:15,344 --> 00:16:18,171 What does that even mean, anyways? 424 00:16:18,172 --> 00:16:20,344 We have a message from the Antichrist. 425 00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:21,344 Take a look. 426 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,861 My demand is simple. 427 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:25,034 Stop the exorcism and release the Uncle Christ. 428 00:16:25,137 --> 00:16:27,309 Otherwise the president will die. 429 00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:28,931 Wait a minute. Behind her. Is that... 430 00:16:29,034 --> 00:16:31,999 Corpus floraria. 431 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,137 Now, as you may have heard, 432 00:16:34,241 --> 00:16:35,551 the Antichrist is holding 433 00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:37,206 the president of the United States hostage 434 00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:40,206 and she's demanding I cancel this exorcism. 435 00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:43,516 But, uh, I don't negotiate with terrorists. 436 00:16:43,517 --> 00:16:47,724 So the time has come to exorcise the Uncle Christ. 437 00:16:47,862 --> 00:16:51,241 And there's only one way to exorcise a demon. 438 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,241 You got to exe-cute him. 439 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,206 - ♪ Come on now. ♪ - Wait, what? -Oh, shit. 440 00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:59,068 Tell that old Beelzebum he's next. 441 00:16:59,206 --> 00:17:00,551 Pope attack. 442 00:17:00,655 --> 00:17:03,205 Papa! 443 00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:04,620 Did you guys know about this? 444 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,620 - We did, yeah. - Do you hate us? 445 00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:08,000 It looks like you're getting mad. 446 00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:09,551 See, this is why we didn't tell you. 447 00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:11,206 This is unbelievable. 448 00:17:12,068 --> 00:17:13,793 Damn it. 449 00:17:13,896 --> 00:17:15,586 Time to die. 450 00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:17,724 Yeehaw! 451 00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:19,033 Bombs away! 452 00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:24,896 Finally, six years of sleepaway archery camp 453 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,827 for girls who got their periods late pays off! - 454 00:17:27,931 --> 00:17:30,240 - No! - Hyah, whip and yank! 455 00:17:30,241 --> 00:17:32,240 All right, Saltine. Pope option's out, 456 00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:33,931 so there's only one thing left to do. 457 00:17:34,034 --> 00:17:36,965 I'm sorry, Bella. 458 00:17:37,103 --> 00:17:39,000 I wish I could have saved you. 459 00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:44,931 What are you doing? Kill her! 460 00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:48,034 I... I can't. What if there's a reason 461 00:17:48,137 --> 00:17:50,758 the Antichrist came here to the place where Bella died? 462 00:17:50,896 --> 00:17:52,275 What do you mean? 463 00:17:52,379 --> 00:17:54,034 You think Bella might actually still be in there? 464 00:17:54,137 --> 00:17:57,206 I do. And we should keep searching for her happy memory. 465 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:58,793 We've got plenty of holy water. 466 00:17:58,931 --> 00:18:00,585 Well, hell, you know I'm game. 467 00:18:00,586 --> 00:18:02,309 Yeah! This is great! 468 00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:04,689 - Oh, no, it's one of those birds. 469 00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:08,655 Do not peck the bag... 470 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,654 No! Not again! 471 00:18:16,655 --> 00:18:20,827 What is the deal with the birds in this geographical region?! 472 00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:25,206 Oh, God, there's no time 473 00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:26,517 to get another IV of holy water 474 00:18:26,655 --> 00:18:28,136 before this one runs out! 475 00:18:28,137 --> 00:18:31,448 You idiots. I can't believe you're my constituents. 476 00:18:31,551 --> 00:18:32,793 Run for it, Rip. If you survive, 477 00:18:32,896 --> 00:18:34,206 you can still find a way to bring Bella back. 478 00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:35,896 Don't worry about us. 479 00:18:37,965 --> 00:18:40,447 No. I've put too many people through hell 480 00:18:40,448 --> 00:18:42,000 because I couldn't accept the truth, 481 00:18:42,137 --> 00:18:44,965 but the fact is, Bella died many moons ago. 482 00:18:45,068 --> 00:18:47,344 Now let's finish this once and for all. 483 00:18:47,448 --> 00:18:48,931 Oh, and one more thing. 484 00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:51,379 Bella always said that after she died, 485 00:18:51,517 --> 00:18:54,309 she wanted to be... cremated. 486 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:55,689 No! I changed my mind! 487 00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:57,724 Begone, foul demon! 488 00:18:57,827 --> 00:19:02,620 I want an open casket...! 489 00:19:06,206 --> 00:19:07,586 It's beautiful. 490 00:19:07,724 --> 00:19:10,068 And yet not so beautiful as you, love of my life, 491 00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:13,275 keeper and tender-to of my loins. 492 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,068 Have you seen Red Shrek? It's-- Quail! 493 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:26,517 How... are you? 494 00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:28,000 Are you mad at us still? 495 00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,241 You're such a baddie. 496 00:19:29,344 --> 00:19:30,586 Like, please don't be mad. 497 00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:31,999 When I joined the Council, I was so happy 498 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,413 because I'd finally found my people. 499 00:19:34,517 --> 00:19:35,827 But there was always one problem. 500 00:19:35,931 --> 00:19:38,931 Even though we were alike in so many ways, 501 00:19:39,068 --> 00:19:40,896 I worried that none of you... 502 00:19:41,862 --> 00:19:45,068 ...were quite as duplicitous as me. 503 00:19:45,172 --> 00:19:47,137 But by tricking me into finding my own father 504 00:19:47,241 --> 00:19:48,793 so you could decapitate him, 505 00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:51,689 you guys proved that you're exactly as devious as I am. 506 00:19:51,793 --> 00:19:53,620 - Bring it in. - Get over here, 507 00:19:53,724 --> 00:19:54,655 - you little scamp. - You rock, Quail. 508 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:57,034 I have found my people! 509 00:19:57,862 --> 00:20:01,033 Guys, look! The president's daughter is... 510 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,724 smiling! 511 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,586 Yes! Yes! 512 00:20:08,344 --> 00:20:11,413 Hey, Rip. I'm really sorry for your loss. 513 00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:13,620 - I know it must be tough. - Thank you, Saltine. 514 00:20:13,758 --> 00:20:16,551 It's... pretty bad. But you know what? 515 00:20:16,655 --> 00:20:18,137 Ultimately, it's for the best. 516 00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:21,379 I've been wallowing in grief for too long, but no more. 517 00:20:21,482 --> 00:20:24,551 It's time to live the life Bella would have wanted me to live. 518 00:20:24,655 --> 00:20:27,413 And rededicate myself to archaeology! 519 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:28,723 I love that! 520 00:20:28,724 --> 00:20:30,826 I'm talking about unraveling mummies. -Yes! 521 00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:32,586 I'm talking about yoinking vases 522 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,413 made by a certain little dynasty 523 00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:35,896 that goes by the name of, 524 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,482 oh, I don't know, ever hear of fuckin' Ming? 525 00:20:38,586 --> 00:20:40,103 Slay, Rip, slay! 526 00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:43,550 And I'm talking about having a full-blown partner again. 527 00:20:43,551 --> 00:20:45,275 It ain't gonna be easy, but, Saltine, 528 00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:49,068 I'm gonna train you to become a full-on muh-fuckin' arky! 529 00:20:49,172 --> 00:20:51,724 Oh, hell yeah! You know I'm all about that! 530 00:20:51,862 --> 00:20:54,586 Here, give me that whip. Hyah, whip! 531 00:20:54,689 --> 00:20:56,793 Hyah, whip! Ow, my goggles. 532 00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:59,034 Okay. Love the enthusiasm. 533 00:20:59,137 --> 00:21:01,689 Maybe let's start without the whip, though. 534 00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,137 - Hyah, whip! - Mm-hmm. Again. 535 00:21:03,241 --> 00:21:04,206 Hyah, whip! 536 00:21:04,344 --> 00:21:05,344 - Little weak. - Hyah, whip! 537 00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:06,655 - Not good. - Hyah, whip! 538 00:21:06,758 --> 00:21:07,517 Yeah, your wrist is all over the road. 539 00:21:31,344 --> 00:21:32,517 Chirp. 540 00:21:36,310 --> 00:21:38,517 ♪ MTV. ♪